As it turns out, the third time is not a charm. Ravelry still refused to publish my pattern because it makes a trademarked product.
Personally, I think the whole thing is stupid. Seriously, how much money could I make off a crochet afghan pattern? And who has the time and/or resources to actually make it.
I keep lambasting capitalism and shall continue to my last single crochet.
In the meantime, the pattern is always available on AHW Pattern Page, should anyone be interested.