Nothing Compares 2 U

“I could put my arms around every boy I see…

Continue reading “Nothing Compares 2 U”

Christmas Is Coming

The Name

Christmas Is Coming by Vince Gauraldi Trio form A Charlie Brown Christmas 

Had to get an xmas themed song for such a suggestively festive slouch beanie I crocheted with red and green stripes.

The Hat

Dimensions: 9 (W) x 17 (H) x 28 (C)
Pattern: Be The Rainbow Slouch Beanie by Brooke Etter

I followed the pattern, exactly; from a mechanical and mathematical perspective. I did not follow the color scheme. I was hoping to end up with something along the lies of Dr. Seuss, but ended up with a slouch beanie with elfish inclinations.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

The OTHER thing wrong with it is that point that just begs for a pom-pom to hang from it! ARGH! That damn point also emphasizes – at least, for me – Christmas…bah, humbug!

I do agree that the height on Holding Back The Years was not long enough, therefore, no slouch.

But, then there is…

The Yarn

Woolworth Woolco “Wintuk” Knitting Yarn
Color: 30 Red & 52 Dark Green; Content: 100% Orlon Acrylic; Weight: 3, DK

DK!?

I just presumed worsted and crocheted the hat with an H-hook…and…I had the yarn label!

Which said nothing about weight! Fortunately, I did not discover this until I was updating my Ravelry project page, after the hat was finished. This could explain the opening appearing bell-shaped after trying to put it on my 23-inch head.

Heck, I got plenty of scraps to make another…without a point!

Christmas Is Coming

You’ve Got Your Troubles

Started today after a stumble on the Stairway To Heaven, which has turned into a real pain in the ass, just like in real life. So, considering how easy Union of the Snake was, I decided to follow up with a quick crochet project for the next misstep on Stairway To Heaven.

That brings us to You’ve Got Your Troubles and a knitting dilemma/question:

Using my new WPI info I learned from the June El Segundo Slipt Stitchers guild, I wrapped an unknown yarn around a ruler for one inch and got 24! Yet, there is no 24 WPI yarn on Ravelry. Neither is if one of the yarn weights without a WPI number: light fingering, fingering, lace, or cobweb!

In my humble opinion the yarn pictured in the featured image is more similar to a sport or dk, but that is 12 and 14 WPI.

WHAT THE HELL IS REALLY GOING ON?

Oakland Raiders Afghan Fail

Oakland Raiders Afghan II
©A Hooker’s World

As it turns out, the third time is not a charm. Ravelry still refused to publish my pattern because it makes a trademarked product.

Personally, I think the whole thing is stupid. Seriously, how much money could I make off a crochet afghan pattern? And who has the time and/or resources to actually make it.

I keep lambasting capitalism and shall continue to my last single crochet.

In the meantime, the pattern is always available on AHW Pattern Page, should anyone be interested.

Oakland Raiders Afghan v2

Oakland Raiders Afghan II
©A Hooker’s World

Aiyaa! Ravelry removed my pattern from their database for the following reason:

Unacceptable standalone chart. NOT “original” art which is what’s required for these types of patterns.

My first argument is why the fuck does Ravelry care? My best guess is that they may be liable for selling the pattern.

Okay, so I removed the chart and I am resubmitting the pattern, which you should be able to buy in my Ravelry Store; I have not updated the pattern on my patterns page, which does include the offending chart. Because the chart has been removed, I am reducing the Ravelry Store Price: USD $5.00.

Blame It On The Bossa Nova Baby Bonnets

Even when mistakes are made, the thread of destiny is ever-present.

These started out as a store sample – commissioned by my boss: “Annette” –  for Cascade Fixation (Fiber Content: 98.3% cotton, 1.7% elastic; Yarn Color: 9245; Yarn Weight: 3, DK, Light Worsted) and pattern: Basic Crochet Bikini. I chose to make the pattern for the smallest cup size: A. The pattern called for Crochet Hook: B/1 – 2.25 mm and Patons Grace Yarn, but the Fixation called for crochet hook: F/5 – 3.75. I started using the hook the pattern called for, but found it a little challenging using a smaller hook with the Fixation and the “branches” (affectionate term for customers, mostly female) at The Knitting Tree L A kept commenting that the cup was looking too small, so I switched to the larger hook. Being a homosexual, I don’t have much experience with breasts or cup sizes. 🙂

After switching to the larger hook, the branches kept commenting that the cup size was not accurate, so I did some errata investigation. I could not find any, but did find a bigger and much more detailed picture on Ravelry that indicated I was crocheting with the wrong orientation. The pattern does not clearly indicate this; I have commented on the pattern, but never heard back from AllFreeCrochet.com. That problem solved, I set forth, but for some reason experienced difficulty with my counting and had to restart at least two times.

In the meantime, a young, beautiful friend of mine from the store said whe would model the bikini upon completion, but A cups were not going to “be big enough for her girls,” so I changed to C cups and restarted again. Upon completion, the branches of “The Tree” told me that the C cup looked more like a D cup. Aiyaa! I proceeded to make the second cup, as I had not seen my model lately and she would be the ultimate decider. After finishing the second cup with the same majority opinion, no one was a fan of the pointed cup – a la Madonna’s cone bra from Vogue.

During one of Annette’s sillier moments she discovered another use for the huge cup: a baby bonnet for the gangsta baby who resides in the store. As an exclamation point on the story of these baby bonnets, I decided to name them after Blame It On The Bossa Nova by Annette Funicello.

I think I may still attempt to make the bikini, but will have to work out that point or find someone that likes it!